In relationships, the INTJ is loyal but independent. INTJs can be almost scientific in choosing a mate and make devoted partners once they have found a match that fits their rigorous list of requirements. They often have clear ideas about what makes for a solid relationship and are unwavering in their pursuit of this ideal.
INTJs often have a passion for self-improvement and are encouraging of their partners' goals and intellectual pursuits. However, they do not usually see the need for frivolous affection or romance, feeling that their devotion should be evident. They are more focused on serving their partners with hard work and resourceful problem-solving than they are on showering them with attention.
INTJs' partners often find them difficult to read, and indeed they do not show emotion easily; they find the process of discussing emotions much too messy and disorganized. They enjoy solving difficult problems, but are often out of their depth when it comes to illogical, unpredictable personal issues.
INTJs value a partner that allows them the independence to achieve their goals, and one who appreciates their efficacy, insight, and ability to offer creative solutions to problems.
As parents, INTJs are devoted and supportive. They set firm limits and provide consistent reinforcement, but within that structure allow a lot of latitude for their children to explore their own interests and potential. They are encouraging of their childrens' intellectual pursuits and enthusiastic about sharing knowledge.
INTJs enjoy the process of developing a young mind, and get a lot of satisfaction from parenting. They want to develop productive, competent, and self-sufficient children who think for themselves.
INTJs are direct and detached in their communication. They often naturally see how something could be done better and usually communicate their criticism in a straightforward, logical manner. They are typically independent and calm; they are not so much concerned about being liked or appreciated as they are with being competent and thoughtful. Their communications are typically well thought-out, insightful, and strategic. They often plan well into the future and offer big-picture analysis for improving systems.